Life

I will run the race and never grow weary.
Climb the mountains that block my way.
At the top I will shout my victory,
and at the foothills respect my mistakes.

Brokenhearted and torn the war rages on,
the storm clouds block the path before me.
As I struggle on you light the way,
through the dark places you carry me.

Bright as the sun I rejoice in the day.
The aire and the clouds and the dew and the rain.
The night is no more, rejoice oh my soul.

For no fear,
no doubts,
no regrets,
Will lead me astray.

Open Paths

So recently I have been doing a lot of soul searching. Things have been changing in my life being quite chaotic and amazingly wonderful at the same time. But within all of this there have been a few things coming up that have cut to my core belief of who I am, and where I'm going. I'm not entirely happy with the person that over the past year or so I've become. Things are different and not so much for the better. Yet I'm still moving forward and not going to let circumstances dictate my future. Life isn't worth it if I let that happen. Where all of this is coming to is the realization that there are some people in my life who in hindsight haven't been influencing me in a positive way, rather I feel like they are dragging me down the road that fits their perspective and not mine. I have listened to their voices and followed in their ways and because of that the person I was has become stolen and replaced with a shade that is meant to look like everyone else. Slowly I believe that I'm going to get out of this mess, but I fear along the way some friendships and some stories will have to come to a close. And new chapters of my life will have to open up and begin. For me this is scary because I'm not Mr. Social, mainly due to my major and way of living. But it will be for the best if I become the person I'm meant to be, living the life that has been so graciously given to me. For now, this is the road I must walk, the burden I must carry.

New Year, New Me, Craziness!!!

The title of this post sounds like it should have been posted last month, but you know better late then never. Currently life has been absolutely crazy, I've pulled 17-20 hour days at least once a week or so to finish projects. Started working weekends at camp again. I've started an internship at camp, working with the digital side of things, so mostly web stuff, which is always fun, and lots of things like that. What this all boils down to is: I HAVE NO FREE TIME OR SOCIAL LIFE!!! Oh wait that's really not that new haha.

All in all I couldn't be happier with how some things are going, while at times other things keep popping up and creating some stress and confusion as to where I am at in life, but I am always moving forward trying not to look back.

10 Things I have Learned over the past few weeks:

1. Learning multiple programming languages at the same time is not a great idea.
2. The past is the past and you have to set your gaze on the future and start walking there.
3. There's always a reason for things, small things are connected to bigger things.
4. Taking a first step into something new, seems scary to the mind, but easier in practice when you just go do it.
5. Enjoy every moment that you are given with someone.
6. Realize true friendships are ones that grow and build you up, not ones that try to choke you and hold you back.
7. Moving on is hard, but worth it in the end.
8. Build on relationships you have now; it's like a tree, build up the roots and the rest of the plant will grow and bud into something amazing.
9. You learn by doing.
10. The road may be long and narrow and confusing, but along the way adventures will find you, friends will aid you, and battles will be fought, won, and lost but the memories and experiences make you strong and form you into the person that God created you to be.

Well this is pretty much all I have for now, well that I can write about right now anyways ;) but I hope to e able to update this blog more often and get into the habit of writing more. Until next time, find your adventure and live it!!!

Adventure Will Always Find You

So today I just had an amazing experience. I worked at the Leadership Center with a mens retreat group, and had a total blast. They had an amazing attitude and created a very wonderful working environment. But this wasn't what made it so much fun, when it came time to debrief the activities with them, I barely had to say a single thing. They went super deep into why we do the things that we do, how we can also apply that to life in a christian sense. One of the major things brought up in the morning was patience. How we had to learn to be patient in this life, that when we try to rush through things in a hurry we make mistakes, we stumble, we fall. But when we turn things over to God and wait on him, things work out in a way that we couldn't even imagine.

Just after this, we did a few activities; a group climbing wall and one called stump garden. I had the honor of climbing with one of the last groups due to them needing one more person. Through some struggle and assistance, I made it to within about five feet from the top of the wall, far higher than I have ever made it on any of our other climbing elements. And for the first time, I had no fear. No fear of falling, no fear of being pretty high up, no fear of failure. THIS was just an amazing thing, for years I have always been crazy scared of heights and this time I faced it and succeeded in something that just boggles my mind when I think about it. After thinking about it later on when I had some free time driving home, the entire time my rope was tight. The second I made it a little higher it was tight. If I fell a little to try and switch feet it was tight. When I was trying to come down, it was tight. And in relection I thought about how this is so true with God. He holds us tightly when we are out of our comfort zones, he protects us, and gives us strength when we need it most. We might not always feel that security right away, but its there. I know for the first half of the climb I never noticed how tight the rope was and how secure it was. It was only when I neared the top that I started to pay attention to it, and realized how in control everything was.

But this was not the end of the day. We ended our session with what we call the man hike trail. It's a pretty basic trail at camp that winds around the Ghost Creek Valley snaking its way down to the river. Once there, you hike along right next to the river for a little ways through mud, over streams that you have to jump across, past burrs and thorns, through tall grass, under fallen trees, until you reach the hill. The main hill, the great hill, the mountain. At the top of this steep hill that has ropes hanging between trees to help those who dare challenge it get up it, lies the mountaintop and the satisfaction of accomplishing a great feat. For this part of the journey that I've only been able to make two other times, I decided I would do something different for myself. This time I would challenge myself to make it up this great mountain, without using the ropes that makes this challenge much easier. And as I scurried, crawled, slipped, dug in, pulled on roots, jumped on trees, and clawing the ground. I made it to the top. This was the great satisfaction that I needed, I accomplished something Great! But what brought this all back to home for me was, in the group of men, we had a slightly older man joining us on the journey. And as he struggled his way up the hill, everyone was helping him cheering him on, and giving him what they could. A few times we became worried that he wasn't going to make it, that his health was becoming an issue, but all of these worries melted away as he got to the top and everyone cheered. In reflection on this afternoon, how true is this climb for us in life. We struggle, we dig in, dig deep, to try and reach the place that God wants us to be at. Even if we are weak, or strong, or big, or small, or young, or old, we can still make it. We just have to give it all to God, and he will give us the strength to make it just one more step, one more toil, one more mile, one more struggle, until we reach the top and are greeted by his Presence.

Today just was an amazing day so long, so fruitful, so draining, and so struggling, but ALL worth it. Again just to bring things into prespective, this was the verse of the day on my phone:

"But don't forget to help others and to share your possessions with them. This too is like offering a sacrifice that pleases God." Hebrews 13:16 (CEV)

Remember: Live the Adventure...Everyday.


One of my new favorite spots at camp:

The REAL Story of Ghost Cabin

This is the "REAL" story of Ghost Cabin. Names may or may not have been changed to protect the identities of the parties involved in this horrific event. To aid in the telling of this story, a composition of assorted pictures will help visualize the story itself. Hope you enjoy, I know my campers did as I began to tell them the story of ghost cabin........

So this journey starts off like many others, my name is Bullseye. I am one of only a few who have had the priveledge of telling the great story of Ghost Cabin. This story goes way back to the roots of Camp T. Back before the camp was even built. Back when the west was not quite won and adventures were ripe for the picking. This is one adventure that Trader Jim, a camp legend, took up and lived. This is his story, his life, and his loss. 

We travel this journey with a series of stops. At each stop an event occurred, something that must not be forgotten or the mistakes of the past will haunt the future. Our first stop begins with the covered bridge. There wasn't always a bridge nor a crossing here. But this marks the spot where it has been rumored that Trader Jim began his journey. He traveled by river and upon his landing on the Tecumseh bend, he traveled along new trails and became one of the first trailblazers. The current spot of this bridge marks the spot where he created the first trail on the lands of Tecumseh. This spot is a very treasured piece of the history of this camp. During summer months the screams and laughter of children echo from this spot. This is done to remember the joy that Trader Jim had when he began his great journey.

 From this great spot we travel to the wood shed. It is important that you remember what it looks like. This shed was an exact replica, albeit smaller, of Ghost Cabin. Before the tragedy. We must again remember the past so that we do not forsake the present. (The man in the photo has no significance to this story) The cabin was built with the wood found in the great timbers of Tecumseh. The great oaks building the foundation on which it was built. Much how Camp was built upon the foundations of Christ. Again remember here what Ghost Cabin was, so as to not underestimate what it was. 

 This journey along the trails of Tecumseh holds many secrets as to the story of Ghost cabin but none are quite as mysterious as the cemetery found in the oak forest. Here lie the companions of Trader Jim, for he knew all there was to know about nature, how to live, how to survive, and how to befriend those around him. These graves are not simple creatures, no, they were the saviors of Trader Jim. This spot is a place of great reverence. This is not a place to show disrespect. We must respect the memory of these great creatures. Many travel this place, unknowing of the secret to these graves. Sadly many show no respect, but if you do show respect, you will learn much from this journey. These creatures perished in the tragedy of Ghost Cabin. Bernice. Wendy. Boris. Bubba. These are true heroes. Trader Jim built this cemetery in remembrance of these creatures, his friends.

 

 As we continue along the trail we find ourselves at the pinnacle of one of the greatest hidden treasures of the oak forest. The Wolves Den. Now many say that there are no wolves at camp. And they are correct, in the physical sense of the word. The spirits of these beasts still linger in this place. The wolves den was the place where they once lived. They were great friends of Trader Jim. After the Tragedy, many of the wolves journeyed away from the woods, their losses were too great for them to bear the burden of staying in a place of such strong emotion. This is another place that we must show great Respect towards. This Place is where Trader Jim became friends with the wolves, learning their habits, and their secrets. He made sure that he took care of them when they were sick, or when they needed help. Back then the howls of the wolves filled the woods and echoed all throughout Ghost Creek Valley. Trader Jim knew and understand each of the howls and knew where and what each wolf was doing.

 

 From this spot in our journey we find ourselves next to the river. This Place is teacherous at times due to the mud, and the risk of fallen trees and braches. But as we walk along these trails it is important to keep an eye out for the signs of life all around us. During the summer months, the mysterious U shaped tracks appear in the mud. The ones that resemble the prints of a Horse. Yet this is quite mysterious since there are no horses in the middle of the woods. Or are there. This is again another mystery of Trader Jim's Journey. He once had a white horse named Galerie. He was swift in the woods and along the trails. But mysteriously after the tragedy he disappeared. Legend has it that if you find yourself out here in the woods at night, you can find Galerie running the trails still looking for Trader Jim, the only evidence that He was there are the prints left in the mud. You must protect yourself and prepare for the mysterious unknown if you dare to hike these trails by yourself.

 We continue on our journey to Ghost Cabin, we are now at Ghost Creek. Now it doesn't get this name for no reason. Legend has it that before the Richard G. Marsh Lake was built that Ghost Creek would mysteriously dry up overnight without warning. No one knows why it did this and it has since never repeated itself since the great dam was built. This is important to remember, for it is a vital part of the story of what happened to Ghost Cabin.  

 And now this Journey to Ghost Cabin comes to a close. Find a seat on what is left of the foundations. For I will tell the rest of the story. All of the events and places and things we have seen, all lead up to this. This is the greatest tale of Trader Jim's Life.

Trader Jim came to these lands long ago and he built this cabin here. Overlooking all of Ghost Creek Valley. He was friends with all of the creatures that dwelt within these woods. Unfortunately even though he was a great friend, he was not welcome. Not by the spirit of the woods.

The day of the Tragedy was not much unlike today, calm, peaceful, joyous. Yet as night quickly fell, Trader Jim knew something was wrong. For all of the sounds of the woods, the birds, the wolves, the squirrels, fell silent. The moon quickly became blotted out by dark clouds. The sound of the wind died down until there wasn't even the slightest rustle of a branch nor leaf. It was as if all of the woods understood what was about to happen and took in a deep breath. Waiting in anticipation for what was about to happen. The great tragedy was about to unfold.

Trader Jim sensing something was off grabbed his coat and satchel, and headed out into the woods to investigate what was going on. Once he was outside the cabin he journeyed the short distance to the wolves den only to find it empty, he called to his friend the bear, called to the deer, and yet no one answered. It was about this time that Trader Jim noticed the orange glow. The smoke. The embers in the air. THE CABIN IT WAS BURNING!!! He quickly made his way back to his home, and the whole place was going up in smoke, he knew that he only had moments before it was too late, he rushed in to grab a pail to try and get some water to try and quench the flames. But when he got down to the creek, with a swift motion to gather water, all he received was sand. The Creek had dried up!!! But when did that happen he told himself, it was then that he realized that with the silence of all the other sounds he too could not hear the soft rushing of the water. He made his way back up to the Cabin realizing that there was no way to save his home. Rushing in he started to grabbing the last of his belongings that he could save.

Unfortunately when he was about to leave, his leg broke through the floor and he fell and was unable to get himself unstuck. He looked around him frantically realizing that everything that he had built and created was burning down around him, about to fall on top of him. In a cry of desperation he again yelled out to his friends the animals for help. And as he started to succumb to the inhalation of smoke, about to slip into the blackness of uncontiousness, something dark moved outside his doorway. His teary eyes couldn't make it out at first, but then he realized the shape was his friend the bear, and then quickly one by one his friends the animals appeared, the wolves, the birds, the snake, the raccoon. They quickly rushed in and tried to help Trader Jim out of his burning home. And as they tugged at his leg, Trader Jim slipped into darkness.

When He awoke, the morning light blinded his eyes. And as he gathered in his surroundings he quickly realized his situation and his Tragedy. Around him were the remains of many of his animal friends, he called to the others but did not receive a reply. He was broken-hearted for the sacrifice that these animals endured to protect him and get him out of his burning home. He gathered their remains and buried them on a hill overlooking the river. This is the cemetery that we passed on our journey here. Once he was finished he gathered up what was left of his belongings, and with one last look over his shoulder, he left the lands of Tecumseh. Now Trader Jim recovered from his loss, and had many other adventures, some which might find their way here. From this story we must remember what has happened as to not repeat the past and have an impact upon the future.

Now many still have questions about what happened, what happened to Galerie, what caused the fire, where did Trader Jim go next, why is it that the only thing left is a chimney? These and many other questions are not easily answered. What we know is that the fire mysteriously started under conditions thought to be improbable. We could try to answer all of the questions but the thing about it is that this is a Legend. There are many tales out there mysterious and intriguing but the thing about Legends are that they are stories. Stories meant to be told, to be improved, to be enjoyed. That is why we must remember and appreciate the true Legend of Ghost Cabin. To share it with those around us, to spark in the minds of those listening the creativity of Stories. That is what I hope you receive from this story that I shared with my campers on two occasions this past summer. Inspiring those who listened to become wrapped up in a story that was made up as it was told, living in a world that is utterly impossible, believing something that captures the imagination. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoy telling it. Remember always share the Legend of your Life to those who are willing to listen.

Thoughts while in a Starbucks

So I've been in Starbucks today for about 3 hours now and it cracks me up how many people come through here from all sorts of backgrounds. We have the old ladies, the hip cool young couple, the middle-aged moms, the students, the creepy old man that sits by himself in the comfy chairs that you really wish you were sitting in but if you were then it would be awkward. But it is crazy how even though it is cold and dreary outside, inside it is nice and somewhat warm (if you aren't by a window). This reminds me a bit of just how people are how we have so many crazy things on the inside of us (hypothetical not literal :) )

So I've been here for a while due to my stupid Physics test which is at 8pm and really don't want to take, but sometimes you just have to deal with the hand you are dealt, even if it is all tens and queens. But then again nothing makes you feel a little better than drinking a vanilla latte, listening to Falling Up "Your Sparkling Death Cometh", and drawing. Seriously nothing really can make me smile than this. I love drawing to this CD. Everything on it is just so amazing and simple in its lyrics but it builds such a rich and vivid world and picture to draw and imagine. Case in point:

"They looked back to see if I was following them, but i Never really left at all, they turned back to scream that I'm the terrible one, I just finally found my heart."

I can honestly say that this CD is inspiring me to work on my book that I've been writing off and on again. I might post some of it on here and see what happens. I'm no English major but I love to look at the creative things in Life and this would be one of them. Who knows it may even be something I could get published :) But that is a long shot at best. That's the great thing about my major, It just lets me do amazing things and call it homework or school. Creativity is part of my class and just doing things that inspire me and others makes me so happy about what I do and who I have a chance to Impact. All of this is again pushing and driving me forward into the spiraling beauty of God's Purpose for my life. Until Next time, Live the Adventure!!! Time to go study/skype friends :)

Recent Happenings

So Life has been pretty crazy lately. I've had many school projects come up and many side projects as well, but I can honestly say that I am excited that I had an interview for multimedia assistant for summer 2012 :) I feel like a lot of things have been happening recently that have begun to set in motion a series of events that are constantly driving me forward. Whether its homework to make me work harder than before, learning something new, new projects creating new opportunities to showcase my web and design skills and proficient, or physics making me realize so much more that animation is probably not for me. All of this leading back to my continual love of Camp, the Outdoors, and above all else God. Just realizing that everything in my life is happening for a reason, the people I meet, and all of the random little run-ins with old friends how it is all spiraling toward a greater purpose and understanding for my personal growth but also where it is and what it is that God is wanting me to do with my life. Day 152 of Living the Adventure.