Life

I will run the race and never grow weary.
Climb the mountains that block my way.
At the top I will shout my victory,
and at the foothills respect my mistakes.

Brokenhearted and torn the war rages on,
the storm clouds block the path before me.
As I struggle on you light the way,
through the dark places you carry me.

Bright as the sun I rejoice in the day.
The aire and the clouds and the dew and the rain.
The night is no more, rejoice oh my soul.

For no fear,
no doubts,
no regrets,
Will lead me astray.

Remith

Screaming the pain was so intense that I almost blacked out. But still I pushed on into that void into an uncertain future in some forgone land. What I currently sought after no man had laid eyes on. For the land that I created was one of mystical mystery. Through the rabbit hole I fell, I pushed forward into the unrelenting darkness. When darkness had fully consumed me, I saw a light. Faint at first but growing in ever increasing intensity until all darkness was gone and there before me the land of which I saw in my dreams started flowing into wonderful clearness. The waters started flowing; the mountains grew as if they were trees reaching ever higher into the heavens. The stars glowed bright, the suns and moons rotating as if time itself was on edge and twirling around as it pleased. Then in sudden wonder life blossomed, bloomed into amazing colors filling the void now whole. Then like a twig breaking, I snapped into sync with time and there I stood surrounded by wondrous mountains, clear streams, tall trees, and cool air.

“Wow.” That was the only word that I could think of for the spectacular display that I had just witnessed.

“You seem as if you had journeyed far boy.” The voice was deep and rich. I turned to face a man much taller than I. He was tanned and dressed in a brown shirt and shorts. Around his neck he wore a curious necklace that looked as if it was a small glowing blue star.

“Well um, yes I guess you can say that. Though truth be told, I’m not sure HOW far I have traveled. Where is here exactly?”

“Well my boy, here is Remith. My name is Douglas, Chief Hunter of the Kar Thalion tribe. And you are?”

“Well I guess you can call me a traveler. My name is Desmond. I came here through an impossible door.” At the mere mention of my name Douglas’s demeanor changed. At the mention of door, I thought I saw a tear in his eye.

“You. We have been waiting for you Desmond. The stories are true, Bayop will be so happy to meet you. Come follow me we must journey to the village, Cerediron, Bayop is our elder and prophecies of your coming have been passed down for generations. Bless Elyon for your coming.” With that he turned and started bounding down a path. I almost had to run most of the way to catch up with him so that I wouldn’t become lost. As were going along the path I took in all of the wildlife around us. It seemed as the people of Kar Thalion must have lived as one with nature. For there were no scars upon the land, the waters were unspoiled; the forest seemed to be cared for with no leaves out of place.

It seemed as though we pushed further and deeper into the woods, on an ever winding path that became more treacherous as we went. When it felt as if we had been swallowed by the forest, we burst forth onto a plain that overlooked a wide canyon with a river running through it. Along the edges of the canyon built into the walls was row after row of houses. The village was built vertically one either side of the river with lines and bridges and platforms and buildings built between.

Built wasn’t much the right word for it, grown is a better description. The houses and bridges were roots of great trees that were nurtured to grow to become bridges to grow up and become houses supporting the village as it reached new heights on the cliffs edges, expanding across the river, along the river and up always up. It was so beautiful that words can’t even accurately describe it. He led me along a path that snaked its way up the cliffs edge. We entered what seemed to be an elevator like contraption that rose up a few levels. As we went up II was able to see how this great village functioned as a whole. The village actually overlooked a great expanse of the forest. And there in the distance I thought I saw a glimmer of light. That could be where I entered. Then once we reached the top; we exited the elevator and walked along the root streets crossing a bridge and entered into a big hut that was suspended over the river and seemed to be the biggest of the huts. This had to be Bayop’s residence.

Douglas entered through a little opening that must have been a small porch and then pushed open the great doors of the Hall of Bayop, in the village of the Kar Thalion tribe, part of the world of Remith.

The next leg of my adventure into the unknown had begun.

Open Paths

So recently I have been doing a lot of soul searching. Things have been changing in my life being quite chaotic and amazingly wonderful at the same time. But within all of this there have been a few things coming up that have cut to my core belief of who I am, and where I'm going. I'm not entirely happy with the person that over the past year or so I've become. Things are different and not so much for the better. Yet I'm still moving forward and not going to let circumstances dictate my future. Life isn't worth it if I let that happen. Where all of this is coming to is the realization that there are some people in my life who in hindsight haven't been influencing me in a positive way, rather I feel like they are dragging me down the road that fits their perspective and not mine. I have listened to their voices and followed in their ways and because of that the person I was has become stolen and replaced with a shade that is meant to look like everyone else. Slowly I believe that I'm going to get out of this mess, but I fear along the way some friendships and some stories will have to come to a close. And new chapters of my life will have to open up and begin. For me this is scary because I'm not Mr. Social, mainly due to my major and way of living. But it will be for the best if I become the person I'm meant to be, living the life that has been so graciously given to me. For now, this is the road I must walk, the burden I must carry.

Be Somebody

"Be Somebody"

I’m just the boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am
Trying to trace my steps back here again, so many times
I’m just a speck inside your head, you came and made me who I am
I remember where it all began, so clearly

I feel a million miles away, still you connect me in your way
And you created me, something I would’ve never seen
When I can only see the floor, you made my window a door
So when they say they don’t believe, I hope that they see you and me
After all the lights go down, I’m just the words you are the sound
A strange type of chemistry, how you’ve become a part of me
And when I sit alone at night, your thoughts burn through me like a fire
You’re the only one who knows, who I really am

We all wanna be somebody, we just need a taste of who we are
We all wanna be somebody, we’re willing to go but not that far

And we’re all see through, just like glass
And we can shatter just as fast
That light’s been burned out for a while, I still see it every time I pass
It was lost in the coldness of my mind, behind a box of reasons why
I never doubted it was there, just took a little time to find
And even when...

I feel a million miles away, still you connect me in your way
And you created me, something I would’ve never seen
When I can only see the floor, you made my window a door
So when they say they don’t believe I hope that they see you and me
After all the lights go down, I’m just the words you are the sound
A strange type of chemistry, how you’ve become a part of me
And when I sit alone at night, your thoughts burn through me like a fire
You’re the only one who knows, who I really am

We all wanna be somebody, we just need a taste of who we are
We all wanna be somebody, we’re willing to go but not that far
We all wanna be somebody, we just need a taste of who we are
We all wanna be somebody, we’re willing to go but not that far

I’m just the boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am
Trying to trace my steps back here again, so many times
When I can only see the floor, you made my window a door
So when they say they don’t believe, I hope that they see you and me

The Place Between

I do not know how to describe that place between the waking and the sleeping, between the brink of reality and the threshold of a dream. Entering through the impossible doorway was not what I thought it would be. At first it seemed as if the world had turned itself inside out, things were spinning, and lights surrounded me as I walked through. Then as if a rubber band snapped upon my skin, things turned. I saw the light up ahead of what I had saw when I opened the door but things seemed to be slipping. It felt as if the world and the space that I now occupied wanted to eject me back out the way that I came. In that moment of realization of what was happening; I started running toward the exit. The farther along I traveled the path became more so like ink. Making it harder to run; harder to move. Soon I was grabbing and clawing my way to the exit with every fiber of my being I wasn’t going to let go, I had come so far that to fail now would be totally unacceptable. It felt like hours, but I knew it had only been minutes, and that I only had a brief moment before the door would close. Like someone before me, if I did not make it; I would be doomed to live an eternity between the confines of this darkness and bare the load that it holds. To keep its secrets, to solve its mysteries, and like the one before; the realization of the place that I was in would turn me into a monster of my former self. But there was no time for any of these thoughts to plague my mind. There was only one objective for me now, get to the door, and find my star. With one final heave of my might determined to be my last break for freedom, or my last judgment, I hurled myself toward the door. As if all time stood still I watched slowly as the opening became smaller and smaller until at the last moment. My hand had grabbed onto the bottom frame of the door, stopping it from fully closing. I had succeeded pulling myself through what was left I had conquered the place between. A simple man before, a man of meaningless power, and weak ambitions I was no more. I have the power to create the connections. I have the power to travel the expanses between the points. I have the power to be free. The power to find what was lost. I have the power to be the real me, not just a shadow.

The Great Training Begins

As quickly as the sleep found me it deserted me the same and I awoke to a startle. I was still a little groggy and it seemed as if a thousand light bulbs were all shining ahead of me, twirling and swirling and dancing all around me. And then everything snapped straight.

“Welcome back to the world of the living boy.” Rasped Fryll, “You’ve been asleep for quite a while, I apologize but there were matters me and Calminaion needed to discuss and I figured that after a long journey you would need the rest. Especially for today.”

“What do you mean, especially for today?”

“Well my boy, I’ve made a decision, I’m going to train you. We can’t have a Cerediron running around who doesn’t know how to use his powers.”

As he said those last words Fryll walked over to a chest in the far corner of the room, apparently the lights were a way of travel here, because we no longer were in the library study room, but now in a great hall surrounded by tall stained glass windows that glowed greens and blues, with candles of every shape and size lining the perimeter of the room. There were no doors in nor were there any ways out that I could see. Probably to make sure that we weren’t disturbed, or I give up and try to leave. As I was taking in the sudden grandness of the room, Fryll rustled through his chest and with a great “Aha!” he pulled out a bracelet unlike anything I had ever seen before.

It was golden with what looked like silver grain within it similar to that of a tree. It was round and simple but yet it had a dull green glow; and had an engraving of a small dragon with ruby eyes that seemed to stare right into you upon the faceplate.

“It’s called the Dragon’s Force. It’s an enchanted bracelet that will aid us in your training, here stick out your hand.”

And so I did, I was expecting Fryll to unlatch some hidden clasp and put it on me but the most curious thing happened. As if on cue the bracelet unwound itself and in the shape of a dragon flew around the room and surrounded itself around my right hand.

“Now then the dragon’s force is something of great value. First off it will only bond with one person and one person only during its phase. That’s you. The second thing that makes it special is that it will not come off until an eternity has passed. And Third...”

“Wait an Eternity?? What do you mean? I’ll be wearing this, the rest of my life??”

“Boy just listen and let me finish, all will be made known to you in due time. As I was saying, thirdly it grants the wearer the ability to live for an eternity. That’s what is truly remarkable about it and what is crucial for your training.”

“You’ve got to be kidding, I have everlasting life?”

“No everlasting life is life that last forever, you on the other hand have a life now for at least an eternity. There’s a difference.”

Thinking on this made my head spin. I think Fryll may have lost a few marbles along the way, but hey maybe there’s a reason for all of this.

“Alrighty boy, now that you will live for an eternity, and I’m Immortal, we can begin. First Lesson: This place is special, time doesn’t flow in a straight line as you are used to, and rather it is like a soup all jumbled up into a big ol’ mess. What I want you to do; is to find a way to the Hills of Teneheldrin when the tree at the very top bloomed. Fetch me that blossom and bring it here and your first lesson will be complete.”

“Ok? Now how am I supposed to do that?”

“Well now, if I told you everything what would you learn?”

“I don’t even know where to begin!”

“You begin with that book; in it are some pages about this place, use those pages to make your path. I have business to attend to but I leave you a companion.”

Reaching into his cloak, Fryll pulled out a small smooth pebble not much bigger than a quarter. Blowing on it and whispering an unknown word in a foreign language the stone seemed to take a breath and slowly grew until it was about a foot high, had two legs, and what could only be described as a strange little head.

“This is Demeythos; he will join you on your journey and provide anything that you need, other than the solution.” With this he turned to leave, but not without turning and saying with a glimmer in his eye, “Paper and ink are in the cabinet over there. You will need it.”

With that Fryll disappeared into a cloud of small specks of light that fluttered into the air and dispersed.

So there it was, I began a journey in school, left school, only to find myself about to take the hardest class I’ll ever know, wearing the Dragon’s Force, granting life for an eternity, and of course on top of all of that; a pet rock. I thought things couldn’t and wouldn’t get any stranger but they did.

Fryll was right when he said that within the book I’d find the pages that would help lead me on the path, the only problem was I had no idea how to create the gateway.

“I figure you don’t know how I’m supposed to make a gateway to here?” I said as I pointed to the book.

Demeythos looked up at me, made a cooing sound and hobbled over to the closet full of the supplies that Fryll pointed out before he left.

“Maybe you are helpful and not just a, rock.”

As I walked over and opened up the cabinet and began pulling out sheets of paper, pens, and pencils of all shapes colors and sizes, I didn’t notice the new page that was being created within the book.  The page that explained everything about how to make a gateway, I finally took notice of it after a few rough attempts at trying to “create” a gateway of some sort to no avail.

On the page in the book, it showed a wall covered with sheets of paper that seemed all patch worked together to create a massive door. The curious thing though, was that it seemed like the door was opening from the papers. In that moment I knew what I had to do.

I started pulling sheets of paper, taping gluing, drawing, inking, coloring, the doorway that suddenly became clear in my mind, and what seemed like days finally came together. As I put up the last sheet of paper, the doorknob, it seemed as though the room shifted a bit. Then as I knew what would happen I grabbed the handle and pushed the new doorway open.

Turning to Demeythos, “Come on boy, it looks like we have a tree to find.” And so began the quest to find the impossible blossom.

Part 3 - A chance meeting of strange fellows

“Hello?”

The voice haunting and eerily familiar startled me so much that I almost fell backwards. Turning to face the voice I was surprised to see someone not so much taller than 4 feet yet homely looking. The dwarf looked like he had seen many things, been on many adventures which some seemed to have left their marks on his rough hands and face. He was dressed in a drab brown work suit, goggles hanging around his neck, and a strangely looking axe over his shoulder, it looked like a cross between a pick axe and a woodcutting one.

“Well now you look like a curious fellow,” the stranger bluntly spoke. “Where do you come from, there is nothing out here but desert and the occasional…dwelling. Your kind does not simply survive out here easily.”

“I seem to be lost sir, I went through the door, and the next thing I knew I ended up here. Wherever here is. I really don’t know what is going on. My name is Desmond, and you are?”

“Calminaion, 9^th commander of the Dwarven Scouts. Pleasure to meet you, Desmond you said. Hmm that name sounds familiar. Well either way you said you came through a door and you are here. I wonder…”

“What is it? You don’t seem to find it strange that I came through a doorway and then I turned up in the desert…” Thinking to myself I could hardly believe it myself, it seemed as though the life that I once was living was just a dream and this place with the thick hot air and the piercing sun was somehow more alive. It felt as though the lands themselves were breathing in the heat and living like some kind of animal. And here I was talking to this dwarf,  a DWARF, this is the thing of fairy tails and yet it doesn’t feel out of place, back home I would have thought I was crazy, maybe I was and this was just a delusional dream. But it feels so real, so tangible that I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been here before. But How?

“Come Boy, I fear we are not alone and it is not safe to stay here much longer. There is a man I think you should meet. If you really did come through a door into this world then HE is the one you must speak to. HE has the answers to your questions I believe. Come now let us go.” With that he turned and started walking towards the mountains. Without hesitation I picked up my bag, took a look back at the door, which it seemed I was the only one who could see it, and as I started following Calminaion it seemed as though the door slowly began to fade into nothingness.

It seemed like we walked for an eternity, the mountains slowly growing closer and bigger more ominous than I had originally thought. They seemed to have this haze that never left them, even with the heat of the sun it seemed as though a fog was attached and part of the range. The dwarf spoke a little along the way, speaking of his home Galandryll, his family the Ironaxen, and this world Asperion as it is called. He said that the desert used to be a great forest filled with trees of all kinds, rivers as blue as sapphire, and lakes as cool as snow. But in ages past a traveler came and with him came destruction. The dwarves contrary to the belief and myth that I knew in my world, funny  I refer to home as my world, were actually great woodcutters and craftsmen, not miners, but when the “Great Destructor” came things changed, the dwarves created scouting clans, created large underground Cities, mined all through the world that they lived. Stone became their wood, and from that they created a new civilization for themselves from the ashes of the destroyed world that used to have so much life.

“Don’t worry boy, you look tired, but we are almost there just a little farther.”

“Where is it that you’re taking me?”

“The seer, he is the one who knows more about everything than anybody. He is a good old friend of mine and it so happens that when I ran into you, I was on my way to meet with him to discuss another matter. It seems that the stars of fate have crossed and linked our meeting.”

“Hmm, a seer. And I guess so. Look there is something that has been bothering me from the start.”

“Speak your mind boy.”

“Did you see the door when we met? It was ten feet from me but as we started this journey when I looked back it seemed to have faded and then disappeared from the spot.”

“There was no door, boy. But as I thought You are, Unique. The Seer will be able to answer your questions better than I, and here we are Fryllandrial, Home of the Seer.”

Fryllandrial, a strange but fitting name for the place we came upon. Before us was a great tree which seemed to span endlessly into the sky, shrouded by the strange mists that clung to the mountain, In the tree were multiple houses and patios bridges connecting one to another, all around the tree. The tree itself was a strange one in itself, the bark had a dull gold glow eminating from its dark brown bark. The leaves were as large as my hand, and were a strange combination of greens, blues, and oranges. This gave the tree a look as though its leaves were on fire glowing gold with oranges and blues that swayed with the light breeze. This place felt like a place out of time, separate from the happenings and the events of the world it was located in.

This place is special you best not disturb the peace.

The thought popped into my head out of nowhere, I knew it was not my voice or the voice I heard before, this one was deep, it felt as though it penetrated deep into my being. Piercing through the darkness and crevices of my mind, searching it seemed to find something lost, hidden, terrible.

You are special boy. The darkness seems to not have noticed you yet, nor realized what power you hold deep within your soul. You may enter.

“Greetings friends, I’m sorry about the search, but these days I cannot tolerate any of the darkness in this place.”

Standing before us was a man or being I’m not quite sure how to describe Him, He seemed to tower over me and Calminaion by a good three feet or more with a long white beard that was as long as he was tall. His eyes were a strange sight, instead of round pupils his looked as though two ovals were overlapped one on top of another creating a strange shape that had strange colors glowing around them, his eyes were such a sight that I could barely turn my gaze.

“Come friends we have much to discuss, and you seem weary from your journey. I have refreshments already prepared in the living room. Follow me.”

“Seer, He knew we were coming since we first met.” Calminaion said as he gave me a slight nudge and a chuckle.

The Seer walked into a doorway and led us up a flight of stairs that wrapped around the trunk of the tree and it went up and up into the air until we came upon a platform that appeared to hold a great study, with plush chairs, three to be exact, and on the walls books stacked onto shelves as high as the ceiling.

“Here Desmond, take this seat, We have much to discuss.”

“Wait how did you..?”

“Seer, remember He sees everything knows everything that has happened and some of what is to happen.” Calminaion bluntly muttered.

“My name is Fryll, and son you seem to be an important individual to what is to happen. For one who came through the door, you seem to not know much about what drew you to us here.”

“Well yes, I don’t understand anything that has happened, one second I’m flipping through this book, the next a doorway appears as it is being drawn into the book by some unknown force, I can’t pull myself away from it and then open the door and the next thing I know I’m in the middle of a desert. Yes, this makes sense and I should understand everything already.” I knew it was a bit harsh but after walking hours and the mystery of my plight had finally hit the wall and now I wanted answers.

“A book you say, hmm. They had one too I wonder if it made…” His voice trailed off as he closed his eyes as if he were thinking and trying to grasp onto a distant memory of a chance meeting long before. Then suddenly his eyes snapped open, full of fire, full of mystery, full of intrigue. “YOU! You. You. How can it be, its been an eternity and yet you are only a boy. They came…” Again his voice trailed off. “I’m sorry but I was gravely mistaken as to who you ARE my boy, it appears that there is hope for us after all.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that you my boy are special, a rare individual indeed. You are a Cerediron, a world builder. You can make words with a pen and a paper. The door is your gateway to those worlds. You are an orphan I take it, you never met your parents, you don’t know what happened to them. Well they were the last of the Cerediron and fled from the darkness. But in you I see something greater than the power they held.”

“Wait you knew my parents, what happened to them, where are they, I’m a Cerediron!” The words came stumbling out of my mouth, but as I was speaking the words the world around me started to spin, and slowly everything faded to black. When everything was gone a voice spoke to my mind.

Sleep, your journey is beginning; you will find your answers. Sleep.

The words hung in my mind, and then ever peacefully I accepted the darkness and slept.

New Year, New Me, Craziness!!!

The title of this post sounds like it should have been posted last month, but you know better late then never. Currently life has been absolutely crazy, I've pulled 17-20 hour days at least once a week or so to finish projects. Started working weekends at camp again. I've started an internship at camp, working with the digital side of things, so mostly web stuff, which is always fun, and lots of things like that. What this all boils down to is: I HAVE NO FREE TIME OR SOCIAL LIFE!!! Oh wait that's really not that new haha.

All in all I couldn't be happier with how some things are going, while at times other things keep popping up and creating some stress and confusion as to where I am at in life, but I am always moving forward trying not to look back.

10 Things I have Learned over the past few weeks:

1. Learning multiple programming languages at the same time is not a great idea.
2. The past is the past and you have to set your gaze on the future and start walking there.
3. There's always a reason for things, small things are connected to bigger things.
4. Taking a first step into something new, seems scary to the mind, but easier in practice when you just go do it.
5. Enjoy every moment that you are given with someone.
6. Realize true friendships are ones that grow and build you up, not ones that try to choke you and hold you back.
7. Moving on is hard, but worth it in the end.
8. Build on relationships you have now; it's like a tree, build up the roots and the rest of the plant will grow and bud into something amazing.
9. You learn by doing.
10. The road may be long and narrow and confusing, but along the way adventures will find you, friends will aid you, and battles will be fought, won, and lost but the memories and experiences make you strong and form you into the person that God created you to be.

Well this is pretty much all I have for now, well that I can write about right now anyways ;) but I hope to e able to update this blog more often and get into the habit of writing more. Until next time, find your adventure and live it!!!