Open Paths

So recently I have been doing a lot of soul searching. Things have been changing in my life being quite chaotic and amazingly wonderful at the same time. But within all of this there have been a few things coming up that have cut to my core belief of who I am, and where I'm going. I'm not entirely happy with the person that over the past year or so I've become. Things are different and not so much for the better. Yet I'm still moving forward and not going to let circumstances dictate my future. Life isn't worth it if I let that happen. Where all of this is coming to is the realization that there are some people in my life who in hindsight haven't been influencing me in a positive way, rather I feel like they are dragging me down the road that fits their perspective and not mine. I have listened to their voices and followed in their ways and because of that the person I was has become stolen and replaced with a shade that is meant to look like everyone else. Slowly I believe that I'm going to get out of this mess, but I fear along the way some friendships and some stories will have to come to a close. And new chapters of my life will have to open up and begin. For me this is scary because I'm not Mr. Social, mainly due to my major and way of living. But it will be for the best if I become the person I'm meant to be, living the life that has been so graciously given to me. For now, this is the road I must walk, the burden I must carry.

Be Somebody

"Be Somebody"

I’m just the boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am
Trying to trace my steps back here again, so many times
I’m just a speck inside your head, you came and made me who I am
I remember where it all began, so clearly

I feel a million miles away, still you connect me in your way
And you created me, something I would’ve never seen
When I can only see the floor, you made my window a door
So when they say they don’t believe, I hope that they see you and me
After all the lights go down, I’m just the words you are the sound
A strange type of chemistry, how you’ve become a part of me
And when I sit alone at night, your thoughts burn through me like a fire
You’re the only one who knows, who I really am

We all wanna be somebody, we just need a taste of who we are
We all wanna be somebody, we’re willing to go but not that far

And we’re all see through, just like glass
And we can shatter just as fast
That light’s been burned out for a while, I still see it every time I pass
It was lost in the coldness of my mind, behind a box of reasons why
I never doubted it was there, just took a little time to find
And even when...

I feel a million miles away, still you connect me in your way
And you created me, something I would’ve never seen
When I can only see the floor, you made my window a door
So when they say they don’t believe I hope that they see you and me
After all the lights go down, I’m just the words you are the sound
A strange type of chemistry, how you’ve become a part of me
And when I sit alone at night, your thoughts burn through me like a fire
You’re the only one who knows, who I really am

We all wanna be somebody, we just need a taste of who we are
We all wanna be somebody, we’re willing to go but not that far
We all wanna be somebody, we just need a taste of who we are
We all wanna be somebody, we’re willing to go but not that far

I’m just the boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am
Trying to trace my steps back here again, so many times
When I can only see the floor, you made my window a door
So when they say they don’t believe, I hope that they see you and me

The Place Between

I do not know how to describe that place between the waking and the sleeping, between the brink of reality and the threshold of a dream. Entering through the impossible doorway was not what I thought it would be. At first it seemed as if the world had turned itself inside out, things were spinning, and lights surrounded me as I walked through. Then as if a rubber band snapped upon my skin, things turned. I saw the light up ahead of what I had saw when I opened the door but things seemed to be slipping. It felt as if the world and the space that I now occupied wanted to eject me back out the way that I came. In that moment of realization of what was happening; I started running toward the exit. The farther along I traveled the path became more so like ink. Making it harder to run; harder to move. Soon I was grabbing and clawing my way to the exit with every fiber of my being I wasn’t going to let go, I had come so far that to fail now would be totally unacceptable. It felt like hours, but I knew it had only been minutes, and that I only had a brief moment before the door would close. Like someone before me, if I did not make it; I would be doomed to live an eternity between the confines of this darkness and bare the load that it holds. To keep its secrets, to solve its mysteries, and like the one before; the realization of the place that I was in would turn me into a monster of my former self. But there was no time for any of these thoughts to plague my mind. There was only one objective for me now, get to the door, and find my star. With one final heave of my might determined to be my last break for freedom, or my last judgment, I hurled myself toward the door. As if all time stood still I watched slowly as the opening became smaller and smaller until at the last moment. My hand had grabbed onto the bottom frame of the door, stopping it from fully closing. I had succeeded pulling myself through what was left I had conquered the place between. A simple man before, a man of meaningless power, and weak ambitions I was no more. I have the power to create the connections. I have the power to travel the expanses between the points. I have the power to be free. The power to find what was lost. I have the power to be the real me, not just a shadow.